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Pro-Hamas Protesters Demand Snacks, Blankies | Credits: AP Photo
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Dummy Daycare: Pro-Hamas Protesters Demand Snacks, Blankies

United States: At the University of California, Los Angeles, the “Palestine Solidarity Encampment” has attained an unprecedented level of satire in the history of campus activism. This encampment, self-proclaimed as a fortress of dissent, isn’t merely advancing political grievances; it’s assembling a repertoire that could rival the most sanctimonious vegan bistro in Silver Lake. 

The activists’ insistence on vegan, gluten-free fare—absolutely devoid of nuts or bananas—has metamorphosed their political theater into something akin to a Whole Foods aisle rather than a serious arena of socio-political discourse, as reports confirmed. 

Bill Melugin of Fox News has faithfully chronicled these requests, which, absurdly, coexist with pleas for “respirators,” “shields,” and “skateboarding helmets.” It appears that for these demonstrators, the clash of ideologies with law enforcement or counter-protesters is anticipated with the same intensity as a potential allergic reaction to food contaminants. One can’t help but ponder, as they fortify themselves behind improvised barriers, are they also guarding against the perils of an inadvertent nut or an unwelcome portion of banana bread?

The demonstration, which has forcibly occupied public space adjacent to Royce Hall, not only exhibits a confounding blend of dietary caution and combat readiness but also epitomizes the escalating trend of excessive ‘woke’ activism. Here, amidst the chanting of radical slogans and the exclusion of journalists and bystanders, the spirit of inclusivity appears ironically confined to culinary preferences, certain reports claimed. 

Indeed, these students, cloaked in the righteous mantle of social justice, have stretched their demands to the absurd. Upon my endeavor to enter this ‘inclusive’ sphere, I was greeted not with open acceptance but with a stringent protocol reminiscent of entering a sterile surgical theater: no nuts, complete facial masking with KN95s, and a tangible disdain for any dissenting discourse. It’s a scenario that could have been plucked directly from a satirical skit, yet here it unfolds in actuality under the earnest guise of political dissent.

Adding to the theatrics, similar demands and scenes have played out nationwide at Columbia University, where occupants of Hamilton Hall clamored for hydration and sustenance as if bracing for a protracted siege rather than an intellectual exchange. The eventual dispersal of these epicurean protesters by the NYPD perhaps served more as a mercy to their misguided cause than a disruption.

Back at UCLA, the administration, seemingly held hostage by the dictates of these culinary activists, had no recourse but to suspend classes. The educational upheaval wrought by these protests, under the lofty pretext of political reform, appears less about effecting tangible policy change and more about dictating campus dining options, as highlighted by reports. 

This scenario mirrors the broader cultural shifts within certain segments of the Democratic Party, where symbolic gestures frequently eclipse substantive policy initiatives. The encampment, with its amalgamation of dietary doctrine and political grandstanding, could be likened to a microcosm of the new ‘woke’ ethos, where the optics of activism are served with a garnish of organic, non-GMO, gluten-free righteousness.

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